I'm in shape...round is a shape!

These pictures make me laugh. I thought I was SO big when I was around 23 weeks and headed to Las Vegas. This is a whole new level! I know that Paige is growing - at least half a pound every week now. A little over 4 weeks to go...so that means this belly still has some growing to do!

I don't like thinking about all the weight I am going to have to lose. I haven't gained out of control this pregnancy (I think now is close to 21 pounds), but I gained 15-20 during my two year dance with infertility. Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. So we are looking at around a 40 pound weight loss goal. : ) Goodbye, Sonic. Nice knowing you...

To my sweet girl

Paige,

I feel like we have been through a lot together, you and me. I loved you when I knew you only as a mere possibility. I was so nervous going in to look at you for the first time. We didn’t know if you would still be there, or if you were growing like you should. Do you remember when I found out your twin wasn’t going to make it? I cried and begged you to hang on and please be strong for me. I was so proud of you. I still am. You are coming into this world against all the odds. Your existence has made me believe in miracles. I have been holding my breath for these last 8 months – counting your movements and listening to your heartbeat, and now anxiously waiting for the day you take your first breath on the outside.

I am all you have known in this life. You hear outside voices, but you only truly know me. And I am the only one who knows you. Sure, daddy has felt you move from the outside, and I try and describe the amazing feeling of you getting the hiccups, but he can’t really know. He doesn’t know when you are asleep and when you are awake like I do. But he will soon. And I am ready for that. I am ready for everyone to know you as the perfect person that I know you. I am ready to hear you laugh, and comfort you when you cry. I am ready to show you off to the world.

I know it is still early and I need to be patient, but I dream of your sweet face and what it will be like to hold you for the first time, and I just need you to get here! Only 33 more days. Trust me, little one; I think you are worth the wait.

Week 34 appointment...life-changing decisions

All is fine.  Despite feeling HUGE, belly is measuring right on at 34 weeks.  To better suit David's work schedule, we changed our induction date to Wednesday, April 29th!! So I changed my ticker again...5 weeks from tomorrow!! I am so ready for her to get here, but I know that thing will be better for both of us if she stays in their and cooks until then.

In other news...despite all the arguments for me to stay at my job - the unstable economy, high cost of health care if I am not employed, the fact that we will not get to save as much - I could go on and on.  The bottom line is, I just couldn't fine peace with it.  I really feel like it is best for our family for me to stay home with Paige, at least for a while.  I might feel differently if I had a family member to watch her five days a week.  But I can't expect my parents to give up their lives so I can go to work.  It isn't fair to them, and I wouldn't want them to.  Paige deserve them to be grandparents - not full-time care-takers.  All this to say, my last day of work will be April 17th.  I like this little built-in cushion of over a week, to get everything done - and in case I go in to labor before my induction date!

That first appointment at Center for Reproductive Health on February 28th, 2007 seems like an eternity ago.  After all that we have been through, I will be a mommy in 5 weeks and 1 day.  Thank you, Lord!

Schmeagle

First - the boys new hair cuts. It was time to shed those winter coats in anticipation of warmer weather to come! We have been cracking up all weekend watching them run around...they look like those funny hairless cats. We know someone who has one of those, and his name is Schmeagle (pronounced liked Shmeegal) so that is what we have been calling Spike.

I promise I didn't pose them like this! It just happened!

Week 34-35...home stretch!

I know, I always take the time to look nice for these pictures. I can't believe how big I thought I used to look! This is a whole new level of big! The uncomfortable-ness has started. It is hard for me to walk for too long because I feel like I have to pee. All the time. My feet and hands are swollen. I can't sleep unless I take something (which I try not to do except on weekends). My back hurts 90% of the time - all this to say that I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! I am tantalizingly close to meeting my little girl! If it comes sooner than planned, you will hear no complaints from me : )

More shower pics...

Thought I would load a few pics of me opening some of my favorite gifts! We got our Britax Marathon car seat and jogging stroller, which were great! And I loved all the gifts that my friends made, like a precious diaper cake with tons of goodies in it, and this little outfit with sweet hand-made bows! And this last one...well I was just super excited for the little baby robe. I always give these as shower gifts because they are adorable! I can't believe this one is for ME and MY baby!!! : )

Doppler plug: Still can't live without it. It is 4:30 in the morning, and I woke up in a panic. Paige is just not moving that much these last few days. She is moving - just not as much. I know this is normal. And a trip out of bed into the study to listen to her heartbeat makes me feel oh so much better.

Changed my ticker

So there is no confusion...I updated my ticker to reflect my induction date (April 27th). That is my new due date : )

Baby showers!!!!

To start the pics out (above)...pictures of all the stuff : ) We got some great stuff for our little love bug! You would never guess she was born in a recession! Our friends and family are so generous, we got every single thing we needed. Towels, bath products, TONS of clothes, jogging stroller, car seat, blankets, shoes...we need for nothing, that is for sure! I had two showers - one Friday and one Sunday. They were both so great - I have wonderful friends who went above and beyond for Paige and me.

Me with my mom and grandmother

Side view...just 6 weeks to go!!

My cute hostesses

Diaper cake from Sunday

My shower at work on Friday

We got home from the shower around 4:30 on Sunday, ate some BBQ with the family and some friends. then mom and I got to work. Organizing, putting things away, deciding what to take back...around 8:30 I called it quits and will start back up tomorrow! Nursery progress is going great. All I have left to find is a mirror. I settled on a fabric for the curtains (finally!) and they should be hung in the next few weeks. JUST IN TIME!!! : )

This is really starting to feel real to me. I am having a baby.

Baby showers this weekend - brings up emotions...

I had my week 32-33 appointment a few days ago…it went well! I started talking to the doctor about how I know things are going well, but I still get a lot of anxiety of things going wrong towards the end. She understands, and is very supportive of me. She suggested picking a date and inducing labor, as a way of easing my mind in a way. This way, I have a concrete date in my head, and that is my “goal.” So April 27th! Save the date!!

I worked out today, and came back to my desk to eat my lunch. Paige is super active after I eat lunch. She had been very quiet all morning, and of course I was worried. But like clockwork, I started eating, and she started tumbling!! Kicking, moving, getting the hiccups…so much I couldn’t even count her movements! I am always in awe of the fact that there is a precious baby girl growing in me. But some days it hits me more than others. Like today! I am just so thankful for this amazing gift. I have been dreaming about this for well over two years! I can’t count the times that I would be on the bathroom floor crying so hard that I literally couldn’t move. I would cry so hard that it would make me throw up. David would have to pick me up out of the bathtub, dry me off, put my pajamas on, and put me into bed. Literally. I asked David the other day if he remembers all the times I called him sobbing – leaving the doctor’s office with more bad news. Or all the times he would be with me, and we would get bad news together – I would start crying once we got to the elevator.

Then there was that hot August afternoon, when David was out playing golf. I decided to take a pregnancy test while he was gone (because I promised him I wouldn’t!) But when I got back from the store, he was already home. I didn’t say a word – just went in the bathroom, took it – fully expecting to see one line again. It was very early – just 11 days past my egg retrieval, 8 past my transfer. I was shocked to see two perfect lines come up right away. I don’t remember how long I sat there looking at it. Trying to figure out what it meant – this was something that I always heard people talking about, but never fully understood how it was possible. I got up, and took it in to David who was on the computer. I just said, “I’m pregnant.” Of course he didn’t believe it. He was very skeptical. So he went out to mow the lawn, and I took a digital test. After staring at the word ‘pregnant’ for a few seconds, I went out to show him. Still skeptical, he just said, “lets wait until we have the blood test next week.” SO NOT the reaction I was hoping for…but it was perfect for us. We had many perfect moments after that. Hearing that my beta was 387, seeing a tiny spec on the screen, seeing the heartbeat for the first time…finding out we were having a GIRL!

I am so thankful for this miracle! She is so special that it took God two years to make her just right to give to us.

The timing for this complete sentimental mess isn’t completely random…my first baby shower is today. Gives me chills just typing it!

More bump pics and nursery pics to come after the showers!

So much has been going on!

First - baby related news: we had labor and delivery class on Saturday! It was not bad at all - from 9 to about 2:30 (was supposed to be until 5 - David really lucked out there!), plus we got an almost 2 hour lunch break. It was great to practice breathing and tips for coping with those early contractions you have at home before meds. Taking the class made me feel like I could probably do it without meds, but David reminded me of something: why would you put yourself through great pain when an epidural will take away the pain with virtually no risks? I'll still be experiencing labor and delivery - just not in excruciating pain! David was pretty great in the class - doing the practice breaths too so he could know how to help me when it is actually time.

Speaking of...it is getting close! I have my showers this weekend, one on Friday, one on Sunday. I invited 40 people to my work shower and 37 to my out of work shower, so I am hoping for lots of great things for Paige : ) Not that it even matters...I really just want everyone I care about to get together and celebrate our sweet baby girl. I am working on hostess gifts right now - I have 6 of them! Yikes!! David's folks will be in town this weekend for the showers, so I need to get our guest room in order. It has been taken over by baby gear!

Other news: Thursday was my birthday! It was great! David sent me flowers to work, then two of my friends set balloons up for me in aerobics class. So nice! We did dinner with my family on Thursday night, then dinner with friends on Friday night. It was really great. David got me a new laptop! The mac one! I am so excited to get it all set up. I just need to go get the piece for wireless internet. I also got to go get a pedicure today, which was needed! All pregnant women can understand how it is just impossible to do your toes after your 30th week.

Nursery progress: I have a rug, nightstand, and little table next to my crib. Now I just need curtains and a mirror, and I'm calling it a day! I finally picked fabric for my curtains, I just need to get a price estimate. Pictures to come : ) I'll also do a bump pic soon...I am getting bigger every day. I am excited to go to my appointment on Tuesday and get another growth estimate. I am guessing my little lady is already 4.5 pounds. Go Paige!

All in all this is just a very wonderful time in my life. I am so thankful to be pregnant.

Pink: Its my new obsession

Wall letters are hung!

My cute picture from MaryJack studios!

I love my glider! It is so comfy!

A picture that was in my room as a baby - my aunt made it many many years ago : )

Changing table with diaper stacker

Sweet Paige!

We have a lot of work left to do. We need a mirror, curtains, end table, book shelf, rug - and then all miscellaneous nursery things that we will get at showers and closer to when the baby gets here. 2 months!!! Or less! I feel good about finally making progress. The color on the wall is the same color throughout - it just looks different with different angles of light on my camera. But it is all even, I promise! My mom, David, and my grandfather, Jack did this all day Saturday! They rock! I, for the most part, stayed in bed and watched 90210. Then we made a trip to babies R us to finalize the registry and so I could pick out a shower gift for a girlfriend who is due late March. So all in all, it was a very productive weekend!

This baby is going to be all girl! I realize that by inundating her with pink, she will probably grow to loathe the color and be goth or something - but that is a risk I am willing to take.

Week 31-32

I look so great in these, I know. We had worked out and then painted all day. But here it is - my ever-expanding body!

In much more exciting news: Paige has a pink room. I have so much pink happening in my life right now - and I love it!!! We still have alot left to do, but later today we are going to hang her wall letters and a few pictures and I will give a big nursery update then. Hope everyone has had a nice weekend!