Never a dull moment...

I took Paige to school this morning, came home, laid the boys down for a quick nap. When they got up, we loaded in the car for gymboree, as usual.

Came in, sat down on the mat. Both boys were clinging to me, as usual. Once the teacher came in and started singing, Jack took off, went over to a tall mat in the form of a half triangle, so he would climb to the top, then slide down. Braley and I were sitting on the floor, watching him do this, I was chatting with a few friends there. We were all watching Jack, and laughing at how much fun he was having. All of a sudden, he was sitting at the top of this mat and fell backwards. It happened almost in slow motion, and I sat there and watched the entire thing.

He fell to the bottom (the floor was cement and a thin layer of carpet. More on this later). I ran over and scooped him up, expecting him to start screaming. He just looked at me, then went limp in my arms. I can't even describe the hysterics that followed this. This only happened 8 hours ago, and it is already so fuzzy in my mind. I just know that I was screaming to call 911 and that he wasn't breathing.

You can try and imagine what it is like to hold your limp, unresponsive child in your arms. And truthfully, I really don't remember it.

Next thing I know, the paramedics are coming in, the gymboree teacher grabs him from me, and Jack takes a huge gasp and starts screaming. I don't have any recollection of how much time passed between the initial fall and when he actually breathed and cried, but they tell me it was around a minute. Crazy. Seemed like it was at least half an hour.

And sometime during that time, my friend, who is a PICU nurse at Children's, saw the whole thing, came in and was talking to the paramedics. I really don't even remember this! But they examined him, saw that he was responsive and something about his pupils (it was good). They said he needed to go to the ER, but since I had another child with me and he was responsive, that I could drive him myself. I agreed.

Luckily, the friends who were in there know my family and called them. David was also called by someone.

They told me that if Jack starts falling asleep or vomiting, to pull over, call 911, and let the ambulance take him. So I had to put him in Paige's carseat since it is forward facing and Jack is still rear facing. I wanted to be able to watch him in the mirror. He closed his eyes a few times and I screamed, "JACK!!!!" every time. He opened his eyes and looked around again.

I was greeted at Children's by a worried daddy and Papa! I sent my dad to go pick up Paige from school, and David, Braley, and I filled out the admitting papers and were triaged.

After they decided he needed a CT to rule out a bleed, I sent David and Braley home so Braley could have a snack and take a nap. My mom came up to stay with us while we waited for CT.

Bubba liked the toys in the ER!

After what seemed like forever, the CT came back clear. And big man was finally allowed a snack! It was 4 PM and he hadn't eaten since breakfast.

They discharged us with instructions to watch him for abnormal behavior. Luckily, he has been himself all evening. Ate a good dinner, played outside, took a bath, drank his bottle, and fell asleep. I asked about 15 times if I should wake him up tonight, and they told me no. Not sure what I will do, but I think I will set my alarm for every few hours, just to go check on him - even if I don't wake him.

He was so tired, he was asleep before we got out of the parking garage.

I am not blaming myself, though some might think I should. I do the best I can as a mom of twins.

But I am sad. I can no longer go to gymboree, and the boys love it. I simply can't be 2 places at once. I can't properly monitor boys who want to climb and explore. This isn't to say that other moms of twins can't do this. Just for my own personal peace of mind, I am taking them out.

Now, as far as the many non-matted sections of gymboree. I'm livid. It is simply ridiculous that there is a giant mat for a baby to climb up and what is essentially cement behind it. I realize that my child is my responsibility, and I signed several consent forms before starting the program that said I take full responsibility for what happens to my child there. I am not at all going to ask them to pay for my CT. I understand that is my responsibility. I just hope they take this accident and learn from it. There shouldn't be any part of that floor not covered in a mat. This wouldn't have happened if he fell on a mat. I also hope they were willing to refund my money for the months of April and May (I paid in advance). I just can't go back there. I hope they understand.