Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Houston, we have a plan

I go in for my IVF consult on Tuesday! I am so excited for this! I should be getting my period about Friday of next week, and if my cyst is gone, I will start birth control!! I am very happy with this. I am feeling so hopeful. I just know I will get pregnant on our first attempt. We just have too. I really hope I can hang on to these feelings of hope. I feel so happy.

My whole life has revolved around getting pregnant the past 15 months. It is time to actually realize that dream!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Maybe this will help?

So Wellbutrin has changed my life. I haven’t felt like this in 15 months. I don’t cry, I don’t obsess. I am excited about doing things in life. I am so happy, that I don’t even want to try in June, because it would mean that I have to go off it. I am starting to think I am just going to take the summer off, enjoy feeling human, then start IVF (in vitro fertilization) in late July.

Just a recap - with an RE (fertility doctor) since Feb 07, several clomid cycles, a lap, ovarian drilling, HSG, SA, two injectable IUI's.
Of course, I may get my period after stopping these birth control pills and be excited about trying again. So I give myself permission to change my mind.
I have been journaling for almost a year now, and it has been somewhat theraputic for me (I say "somewhat" because, while I do think it has helped me, I still found myself sobbing on the closet floor holding my dog hostage screaming "Spike is the only one who understands me" multiple times). I decided to start typing these entries because writing became too tedious.
Nothing really exciting going on. It is Monday. I am bored at work even though I have a lot to do.