Saturday, May 30, 2009

my post partum body - my anniversary...







David and I will celebrate three years of wedded bliss on Tuesday, June 2nd.  We are celebrating tonight though : )  We are going to Red Prime Steakhouse downtown.  Neither of us have ever been there, so we are excited! We have a sitter for the bug and are ready for a night out just the two of us.  Marriage is such a blessing.  It has it's ups and downs, but at the end of the day - David is the best thing that has happened to me (Paige comes a close second!).

We had a beautiful wedding in Maui, HI on June 2nd, 2006.  We also had a reception at home that was so much fun, but nothing will beat that day!


These are of me - 5 weeks post partum.  Yuck.  I have lost 35 pounds (remember, I only gained 30), but my body is so different.  My stomach is mush.  I just don't look good.  Forget getting in a swim suit.  NOT HAPPENING! However - I am doing something about it.  I hate when people complain about their body, but do nothing to change it.  I started working out again last week and Monday I will start eating better (I refuse to start a diet the day I am going out to celebrate my anniversary!!).  I want to lose 10 pounds, lose my love handles, and get that pre-marriage and baby stomach back! Wish me luck : )

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Happy one month, Bug!

In her jammies - ready for bed after a big day!
Her little dress says daddy's girl.  Awwww : )
Momma and her bug
I am going to do her monthly pictures in her chair, so we can see how she grows in it
Little bug - big chair!

David's dad came in to town yesterday.  It was his first time to meet her, so that was fun.  Life with Paige is still wonderful - I can't believe a whole month has gone by since we had her.  I have a feeling time is going to fly for the rest of our lives.  I am trying so hard to enjoy her tinyness, and I can already feel my baby bug growing and growing.

Personal progress:  I think I can cross bitter off my list of qualities.  Finally! When I was trying to get pregnant, pregnancy announcements were something I dreaded.  How was it that it was so easy for other people and so hard for me?  Hearing a friend was pregnant left me in tears on the phone to David, which of course made me feel horribly guilty for feeling nothing but joy for them...which led to more tears.  Awful cycle.  

Even though I wish it could be easier for David and I to build our family, I wouldn't change how it happened for us.  Just think:  if I had gotten pregnant at any other time, it wouldn't be Paige!  Not to mention all the things I learned those 19 months.  I am a different person, for the better.  

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Being a stay-at-home mommy

We had a fun play date with Erin's sweet baby, J.  We met at Louie's and walked around the lake after that.  We were sitting in this restaurant with business people on their lunch breaks, and we have our baby carriers and whip out our bottles and are feeding and burping our babies.  I am sure they were like - this is not a daycare! But when Paige is hungry, she has to eat!!
My sweet bug
Paige isn't quite interested in her playmat just yet.  She likes to sleep on it, though!

Paige is the absolute love of my life.  She is such a wonderful baby.  She still only wakes up one time in the night, and goes right back down after she eats.  I am ready for her to drop that 3 AM feeding, but I know I SHOULD NOT complain, because I know it could be much worse with a 4 week old.

Tomorrow we have another play date with Ethan F.  I'll take pictures of that too.  I have my 4 week post partum check-up in the morning, and I am hoping to get back in the gym after that! 

I feel so blessed that I get to stay at home with her.  I can't imagine having just two more weeks with her before I had to send her to daycare and only have a few hours a day with her.  Breaks my heart even thinking about it.  I am going to start leaving her with my parents on Monday-Wednesday-Friday mornings so I can do a workout class at Chesapeake, and I think that will be good for us.  But from 8:30-11 is long enough!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Paige's new love = pacifier!




My chickadee who has discovered her pacifier! She loves it! It is so funny - you put it in her mouth and she just goes crazy on it!  She is also starting to track things with her eyes, which I know is a sign of good development.  T- 30 minutes or so until we leave for Dallas.  I have twice as much stuff for her as I do for David and I combined! 
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

A brave venture out of town

Big news for this week:  we are taking Paige to Dallas this weekend! I admit, I am very nervous about how this is going to work.  How is she going to sleep in a new place without her swing?  We are going to drag diapers, wipes, all her clothes (she spits up and pees on many an outfit!), stroller, breast pump haha...but such is life with a baby!
David is playing in the Byron Nelson pro-am golf tournament at the 4 Seasons down there, and Paige and I are going to tag along!  I'll document her first trip south of the Red River in photos, don't worry!

Other news:  I am in my pre-pregnancy jeans, and 3 pounds lighter than I was when I got pregnant.  Yay! I have been eating ice cream at night and not working out still, so I am not sure how this is happening.  Breast feeding?  I guess it really does burn calories!  I am ready to get back in that gym, though! I am a good girl who is waiting for my 4 week post-partum check-up.










Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy mother's day!





Photo shoot for your viewing pleasure.  

My first mother's day as a mom.  From now on, every mother's day, I will be a mom.  What an amazing thing!  We are going to eat at my brother's house tonight.  My mom and grandmother will be there will be there to help me celebrate.  I feel very blessed today! 

Life with bug:  still going well! Paige wakes up one time in the night to eat.  Then she goes right back down.  Last night, we left her with my mom for the first time.  I cried, of course, but did fine.  We had a couple's shower to go to, then we went to dinner with some friends.  It was fun, but I missed Paige.  I missed her little noises, her smell...I just missed her!  I was nervous about getting her out of the little routine we have established, but she did great! We put her down around 11:30, she woke up at 3 to eat, then went right back down, then woke up again around 7:30.  Getting six-seven hours of sleep at night with a newborn is an amazing thing - or so I have been told.  Bug is such a good girl : )

We also had her newborn photos done yesterday! I'm excited to see how they turn out.  She was great all day! Very alert!  She only cried when we tried to put hats on her.  So we only got a few of those shots.

Happy mother's day to all the happy mommys out there!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

A survey in honor of mother's day!

Here you go mommies - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself!


1. WAS YOUR PREGNANCY PLANNED
Yes

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
Yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Shocked that it finally worked, and beyond excited!

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
Never

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
25

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
Took a first response early result pregnancy test on 8/23/08 : )

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
David

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
Of course!!!

9. DUE DATE
May 2, 2009

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
Not really.  Just a few headaches

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Grilled cheese, tater tots, and strawberry slush from Sonic.  Thanks for the 30 extra pounds.

12.WHAT IRRITATED YOU?
David drinking and me having to drive him around!

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
GIRL : )

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
At first, we kind of preferred a boy, but I CAN NOT imagine not having my sweet girl now.  I want all girls now!

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY
30 on the dot.

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
Yes! They were both so fun!

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
I knew

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
Yes.  It was all normal until I was 38 weeks when my non-stress tests started showing signs of fetal distress.  I ended up being induced early, which ended up in an emergency C-Section.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Mercy Hospital.  Love it!

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
10 hours of labor that ended in a C-Section

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
Myself.  I was not expecting to give birth that day - I was just going for a regular doctor's appointment.

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
David.  He peeked around the curtain a few times ; )

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
C-section

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
Duh!

25. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
7 lbs. 3 oz

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?
April 23, 2009

30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Paige Madeline

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Bath time, sleep time!

In the middle of the night, Paige peed all over herself while changing her diaper.  I stripped her down, wiped her down with a baby wipe, and swaddled her up with just her diaper on.  At 3 AM, I really don't care if my kid is dressed cute!! But she did look so cute when we woke up in the morning : )
Little power nap before her first bath!
Paige's belly stump fell off a few days ago, so we were able to give her a bath in the sink! She really liked it...

...until we took her out.  Please excuse the scariness of my appearance.  Two nights ago was awful.  It took a few hours to get Paige down for the night.  After her bottle at 10, she just didn't want to go to sleep.  I finally put her on my chest in bed, and got about an hour and forty-five minutes of sleep.  She woke up again at 2 to eat, and I put her on the breast.  She ate for a while, and we tried to put her back down.  At 5 AM, she finally went to sleep.  Then woke up again at 6:30 to eat again.  So add that up - I slept a total of 3 hours, and not at the same time.  Many tears were shed.

I started thinking:  I wonder how much milk Paige is actually getting from the breast?  It seems like she struggles and gets frustrated nursing.  So yesterday, I did an experiment.  I pumped every 3-4 hours and gave her bottles.  She ate like a champ each time (between 3 and 4 ounces), had plenty of dirty and wet diapers, and was just a happier baby than she had been the last week.  Then last night, she went down right away after her 10 PM bottle, and slept until 2.  David gave her a bottle while I pumped, and she went right back down until 6:30.  We got at least 6 hours of sleep last night, and I feel like a new person.  I feel like I have a new baby.  I am not thinking of this as giving up - because Paige is still exclusively getting breast milk...it is just coming from a bottle.  And if it makes for a happier baby and a happier mommy, well then that is just what we are going to do.  Pumping is easy and takes 15 minutes at the most, and I don't mind doing it every 4 hours.  It is important to me that she gets breast milk. Wow, that was long.  But my point is - every baby is different, and every mom has to find her own way.  

Sunday, May 3, 2009

April 23rd, 2009

A day I will never forget!  I had an appointment that morning for my non-stress test and internal.  This was a Thursday.  I had one a few days ago on Monday, and Paige didn't do so hot the first time, but after a coke, her heart looked better.  On these tests, they are looking for accelerations in her heartbeat.  It prints out on a little paper, and you are looking for it to rise at least 10 beats per minute (so Paige normally is around 145, but on her accelerations, we wanted to seem them go up to 155 or greater).  This needs to happen every few minutes during this test.  This is done to make sure baby is still thriving in the womb.  Accels mean baby is active.  A happy and thriving baby is active in the womb.  I was getting ready to leave for the appointment around  8 AM, and I had a weird feeling.  We had gone to the art's festival the day before, and I felt like crap the whole time.  Not only that, but Paige was so still the whole day.  I decided to pack my hospital bag and put it in the car.  Just an instinct, I guess.  I start my non-stress test (NST) at 8:45.  Failed the first.  Drink a coke, fail the second.  Get up and walk around, drink more coke...fail the third.  Dr. Decides to send me for a biophysical profile (BPP).  This is an ultrasound that checks on baby's well being.  I called David and had him come to the hospital to meet me, because I was so panicked.  Paige failed her BPP.  Dr. came in to talk to us, and basically said that the baby's heart is beating, but it is time for her to come out.  I was a little over 38 weeks, but it had come to a point where Paige would do better on the outside than on the inside.  I was nervous for her, but very excited that today would be her birthday! David went home to pack his back and grab the car seat (get your car seat installed at 37 weeks.  Trust me) while I checked in and got hooked up.  We excitedly called our family and friends, telling them Paige was coming today! 

Pitocin started at 1 PM.  I was already contracting every 5 minutes, but it wasn't painful.  Even adding the Pitocin didn't make it painful.  Dr. came in and broke my water around 2, when I was at a 3.  Then the pain started.  Back labor.  Oh my gosh, I can't even describe the pain.  I couldn't think or breath during contractions, which were happening every 2-3 minutes and lasting over a minute.  I had no time to rest.  I couldn't get my epidural until I was at a 4, so I was praying that was coming fast.  I got demerol through my IV, but all that did was make me feel drunk and high (which was nice, don't get me wrong - it just didn't help my pain).  I only felt contractions in my back.  I thought, there is no way I am going to make it through this.  When they say the pain is like nothing you have ever experienced, they were right.  FINALLY by 5 PM, I could get my epidural (so 4 hours of intense labor later).  It was painful trying to breath and stay still through contractions, but I knew it meant relief, so I was okay.  Fabulous.  Wonderful.  Epidural made me feel like a human again.  Friends and family were in the room, I talked, laughed, and really enjoyed this time.  Things started going south though, around 7 PM.  Paige started not tolerating labor well.  Her heart rate would drop as low as 90 BPM during contractions, and this was getting dangerous.  at 9, the OB said I am giving you until 11 to make some real progress, or we have to take her out.  At this point, I was so nervous about Paige's heart, I was fine with having a C-Section.  So at 11, when they checked me and I was still only at a 5, I was relieved.  I was ready.  From this point, everything happened pretty fast.  David got his scrubs on (so cute!), and they wheeled me into the operating room.  People all over the place scrubbing, messing with tools, it was crazy.  I started feeling nauseous and threw up three times.  I felt awful.  Violently shaking, cold, yet hot (strange I know), sick - and the sensations of a Section are very strange.  I felt like they were taking my organs out and rearranging them.  It wasn't painful, just very strange.  Keep in mind, but this point, I hadn't eaten since 6 AM that morning, and had just gone through 10 hours of nerve-wracking labor.  I was exhausted.  Paige was born at 11:18 PM, weighing 7 pounds 3 ounces and 20.5 inches long.  They showed her to me, but I really don't remember too much.  I remember seeing her head full of dark hair.  I remember crying.  Somehow I ended up back in my room, and holding her.  It was about an hour later that I first got to hold her.  I was shaking so badly and couldn't stop.  Due to the hour, my parents were the only ones up there with us, and I am glad it turned out that way.  It was a special time for us.  

They went home so I could sleep,  but it didn't really happen.  I shocked all the nurses when I got out of bed at 5 AM to shower.  Recovery from the C-Section was not bad at all.  Pain meds (orally and through and IV) were my allies.  So were my parents and friends.  They brought me food, flowers, and company during our hospital stay.  The room was filled with beautiful flowers.  My dad would run out and get me whatever I wanted.  One night, I was in the mood for Red Rock mashed potatoes and carrots, and dad ran right out and got it for me.

David.  David was amazing.  Still is.  He helped me shower, change my pads...everything.  What a great husband and father. 

Another great surprise:  David's parents from Texas weren't planning on coming for a week or two, but they surprised us and came to the hospital! We were thrilled and that meant a lot.

Life is blissfully crazy and tiring.  I wouldn't change it for the world!  I am happy that with (God willing, of course) baby #2, C-Section will be planned and I can skip all that drama : )