Wednesday, January 28, 2009

25 Random things about me!

Thanks to Callie for this fun little game...

1. I am obsessed with college football - specifically the OU Sooners!

2. I got engaged in Alaska and married in Hawaii

3. I really enjoyed studying 16th and 17th century European history in college, and wish I still could. I actually wish I could be a student forever. I love school.

4. I was a competitive gymnast until I was 13. I was at the gym from 4-9 every week day, and then 8 AM - 1 PM on Saturdays. Then I had a one hour private every Sunday.

5. I take a bath every night before I go to sleep. Literally.

6. On that same note - I have to be tucked in like a little kid. David watches TV and doesn't go to bed as early as me, but has to come back and tuck me in, kiss me good night, and turn out the lights for me.

7. I really love red wine. I didn't start liking it until about 6 months before I got pregnant, and am hoping I still enjoy it after!

8. I watch FRIENDS every night before falling asleep. I have the complete series on DVD

9. I still love the show Gilmore Girls, and don't understand why they took it off the air.

10. I like cheeze-its dipped in ketchup

11. I find exercise very enjoyable

12. I lived in Alaska for a year in high school

13. I am ridiculously close to my family

14. I think that hamburgers and french fries should be considered a food group

15. In May, I will have had my car for 3 years. That will be the longest I have ever kept the same car. Time to start looking soon!

16. I have a bad obsession with designer purses. I have a Gucci and a Fendi - costing a total of around $2,500. Yes, both were purchased before the recession.

17. I have wanted to be a mom since I can remember. It has always been my number one want in life

18. I am a far-right Republican. And proud of it.

19. My dad is the most generous person I know - and one of the most intelligent.

20. Before I got my first BFP, I thought that pregnancy tests didn't work any other way than being negative. I just didn't think there was a second line even there. Along these same lines - I took a total of 12 home pregnancy tests the month I got pregnant.

21. I hate chocolate cake. It is so gross.

22. I love fabric. And rugs. I have curtains on almost every window in my house, and any place that is appropriate for a rug, has one.

23. Every member of my family loves golf, but I think it is horribly dull.

24. I live less than 3 miles from the home I grew up in...I also live down the street from my grandparents, my brother and his wife live in the neighborhood across the street from us, and my parents live about 10 miles away. I told you I was close with my family!

25. I was born and raised in the great state of Oklahoma, and wouldn't want to be anywhere else!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Weekly bump update! - Week 26/27

Sorry so blurry - but I don't understand how I am going to get any bigger. I still have 13 weeks to go.

A brief break from crazy

Let the countdown of the Mondays begin! My last day of work is going to be Friday, April 24th, which puts me at 12 more Mondays to go (this is assuming all goes well with the pregnancy, which I am anticipating!). Only 12 more. When I look at the “days to go” in the pregnancy, it makes me feel like I will never get there. 90 some odd days seems like way too many. But only 12 more Mondays.

I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home with my little girl. For my sanity, and to keep up the lifestyle that we have become accustomed to, I will find a part-time job when the summer is over. But this is my choice, so I know I am so lucky to even be able to make it.

In baby news – I had a major breakthrough yesterday: I didn’t use the Doppler one time. And I didn’t use it this morning before I left for work. There was so much movement on Saturday and Sunday, I just didn’t really feel like I needed to. Big movements too – like rolls and changing of positions – not just kicks and punches. I think I have a little gymnast cooking in there. Before you think I am healed from my insanity…I don’t plan on sending the Doppler back. I am quite certain last week was not the last time I am going to panic about my baby. So Doppler, which I affectionately refer to as baby tracker ’09, is staying with me until the safe arrival of baby girl Paige.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Cookies for breakfast

It is not even 8 in the morning yet and I am sitting here eating my girlscout cookies I got yesterday. Damn girlscouts. Paige will not be allowed to do that - or if she does, she is not allowed to bring any cookies home!

Paige has been much more active these last two days. I think I know the reason: on Wednesday, I called the doctor to let her know about the change of movement (lack there of), and her nurse called me back about 3 seconds later and told me to go to Labor and Delivery. Of course, this sends me into hysterics. David was out of the office that day in a class off-campus, so I couldn't get him on the phone. He has a blackberry, so I sent him an email that said "I called the doctor - they are sending me to Labor and Delivery." Of course he called me back immediately, left his class, and met me at Mercy. I was so scared. I got there, and they hooked me up to all the monitors - strapped these things to my stomach, and watched her heartrate and documented her movements. She IS moving all the time, I just can't feel it anymore. They think she flipped over and her back is facing the outside, and her legs are pointed more down, so her movements are low and to the inside. For those who have been strapped to these monitors, you know it isn't the most comfortable thing. You have to lay still on your back for at least an hour, with these things on you. It felt really good to get them off, and I think Paige wanted them off too! So since then, she has been moving more, and I can feel it! I think she has flipped back! She doesn't want to go through that again!

I keep wondering if I am too paranoid. Is this normal to be so worried? Some of my currently pregnant and recently pregnant friends are just so laid back about everything...I wish I could be like that! I have always been a worrier by nature, so I am sure it is just my personality to freak out about everything. I am also not good at dealing with things that leave me feeling out of control. I have never been one of those people who can say, oh, it will work itself out. If I can't do anything to make sure it works out, I freak out. I guess you could call me controlling : ) My husband sure likes to haha

I am making an effort to relax (I know - as a former infertile we are trained to HATE this word) and enjoy this a little more, and trust that it is going to work out! Wish me luck!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A new facet to my craziness

Isn’t it amazing how much songs can trigger memory? For me, my recent life is divided into two parts: infertility and pregnancy. I can listen to a song, and it immediately takes me to one of these two parts. I listen to my ipod pretty much all day long – it is the only way I can really focus and get things done at work. I love putting it on shuffle – I have songs accumulated from over the years, and there really isn’t one song on there that doesn’t either make me remember the pains of infertility or the joys of pregnancy.

There is a George Strait song that I will hear, and remember driving to Center for Reproductive Health. It was raining that day, and I decided to take a different way because I thought there would be a lot of traffic. I was feeling hopeful that day. It was my baseline ultrasound for IVF. I was so ready to get started, and couldn’t get to that office fast enough!

Any song by Kenny Chesney. April 2008, I was told there were really no other options for me besides IVF. In addition to the $20,000 we had already spent trying to make a baby, we were going to have to pay $25,000 more for the shared risk program. I had completely lost my ability to cope with daily life. I couldn’t deal with normal interactions with people anymore. I was put on anti-anxiety pills, and that helped out some. I went to see the Kenney Chesney concert with a good friend, and for that one night, I remember actually feeling happy. It was a reminder that I had things in my life to help me cope with this bump in the road.

Carrie Underwood – Just a Dream is another big one for me. It was my theme song of the summer last year. I could not listen to it without crying, but like the masochist I was, I listened to it every chance I could. Carrie totally gets me.

I could go on forever.

I had a mini-break down last night. I call it “mini” because it subsided fairly quickly. It had been building up since Sunday. I hadn’t feel Paige move that much all day, then Monday, I felt nothing. I mean nothing. No flutters, no kicks, no little shakes. I cried on and off during the afternoon at work, then got home, checked her heartbeat (it was perfect), ate dinner, then laid down. I ALWAYS feel her if I lay down after eating. Nothing. I got up and took a bath. I ALWAYS feel her while I am in the bath. Nope. I got out of the bath and just lost it. I was sobbing. David was great, and laid with me, and told me it was okay, and she was just turned the other way, and did his best to reassure me. Once I collected myself (took about three or four minutes), we went to the couch to watch Intervention. I laid down, and she immediately started kicking. Break down over. It is just bringing me back to those Kenney Chesney days…I feel out of control of my emotions. I can be fine, then a thought takes over my brain, and I can’t cope.

Someone needs to start a pool on when I am going to be institutionalized.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

6 months pregnant

Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

There really are no words to describe how I feel about being 6 months pregnant. Shock that this is still really happening, elated to have made it this far, sadness that I still have 3 months to go before meeting I guess there are some words, just nothing really coherent!

We went to a friends birthday party last night and had a great time! It was a restaurant in town that I don't particularly love, but I actually liked what I got! All my friends were there and everyone was fascinated with my growing stomach! Which of course, I love and can't get enough of!

Paige is moving a lot. She normally wakes up at at 4 AM every morning and wakes me up with her kicks. I guess she is getting mommy ready for what life will be like when she is on the outside.

I can't wait!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Week 24-25

First - above - find Paige's wall letters! They look a little purple here (as does her crib bedding), but it is actually pink. I have fallen in love with the name Paige all over again! And the fact that we are having a girl!!

And now - some bump pics for week 24/25. I am sorry if you are getting sick of seeing my tummy.

And for tonight's main event: American Idol. I am a huge fan of the show. I can't sing for shit, but I sure do try while American Idol is going on (during commercials, mind you - there is no talking of any kind while the actual competition is happening). I like the auditions - seeing people as awful as me makes me laugh. I am feeling a little apprehensive about the new judge this year, as I am sure many people are. It is starting in 15 minutes! Holy crap!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

I'm siiiiiick

And not about the Sooners loosing - although that makes me feel very sad. I started feeling pretty crummy last night during the game - sore throat, stuffy nose, groggy, etc...then I woke up this morning to a 100 degree fever, no ability to breathe through my nose, a pounding head, and a sore throat. When by much needed body pillow fell on the ground, I reached down to get it (with the lights off) and proceeded to smack my face on my nightstand. Now I have a swollen nose, some nice black marks under my eyes, snotty tissues everywhere...

I read that when you are pregnant, even the common cold will knock you out like this. Your body loses its ability to fight off infections easily because it doesn't want you to treat your baby as an infection. Or something like that. Either way, this absolutely sucks.

Uggghh!!! I just want today to be over. And to feel better tomorrow! I am supposed to go to a fitness thing up at work in the morning for 4 hours, then go to a friends 30th birthday party that night. So whatever this is, it needs to pass! I have started to feel a little better throughout the afternoon - I got up, started some laundry, cleaned the dishes from last night, and now I am on here. But I can start to feel the lightheadedness coming on, and I need to go take my temperature again. If my fever isn't below 100 by the end of the day, I need to call the doctor back. So back to bed for me...

At least this has distracted me from the sickness I will no doubt feel about my beloved Sooners losing. Again.

Monday, January 5, 2009

New Year, New You

I am getting sick of hearing this. I get emails about it constantly at work. What was wrong with the old me? Sure, I eat too many processed foods (just eat too much in general), hog the remote, can be a brat when I don’t get my way…okay – maybe there is some room for improvement : )

I have thought long and hard about a New Year’s resolution I can do. I don’t normally do them, seeing as people don’t really stick with them. But I’d like to make a positive change this year. The things I am considering:

1. Be more diligent about folding laundry right after I wash it
2. Stop putting off getting highlights, and actually do them every six weeks like I always say I will
3. Find new recipes and cook dinner more often
4. Eat dinner at the dinner table

These would all be very positive changes. These things are certainly not earth-shattering with real significance, but small steps that just might make for a happier, more peaceful life.

I’ll start small, and by the end of the year, maybe these will just be habits of mine!

We had a wonderful time in Las Vegas. Shopping, sitting at the spa, body treatments, eating…just perfect! But I, the camera fanatic, didn’t take many pictures! We have just been so many times, that the sites aren’t spectacular to me anymore, so it never dawns on me to whip out my camera and document the moment. But always when I get home, I wish I had! Oh well – use your imagination.

I had not one, but two random strangers make comments about me being pregnant. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! It was so much fun!

Next OB appointment: tomorrow. My goal: to have only gained 3 or 4 pounds since last time, per my OB’s recommendation. Too bad I am headed to my brother’s to watch the Texas game and eat fajitas…

Stay tuned for that one!