Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mother F*cker

Well that was short lived

My optimism went out the window the day after my wonderful OB appointment. I got the call. I was a huge colossal failure on the glucose screening test. I failed so badly, that the three hour test I am doing on Friday is merely a formality to confirm the diagnosis: Gestational Diabetes. I have to go in the morning, drink the orange crap (only more of it), and sit in their office for three hours – having my blood drawn on the hour every hour. Then I get to meet with the doctor and a nutritionist to teach me how to keep this under control. Prick my finger, test the blood sugar…fun stuff.

So last night for dinner, I had grilled chicken. Then I had an apple for dessert. I have been obsessively reading about the glycemic index, and the foods I should eat to keep my blood sugar levels down. I know it is so important for a healthy baby, so I am going to follow the diet to a T. No slip-ups. I am an all or nothing kind of girl anyway.

As if I don’t worry about my baby enough. After my freak out with her not moving much and going to labor and deliver, I thought – finally. I am going to get to enjoy being pregnant. Well that lasted 12 hours. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Now Paige is kicking me like crazy, but I have to worry about her being 10 pounds and being hypoglycemic. Or is it hyperglycemic? Either way, it’s not good.

I honestly could care less about the diet thing. It really makes no difference to me. Sure, I will miss my ice cream, baked potatoes, french fries, etc…but it is just food. I can certainly give those things up. And will do it happily, I just want my baby to be healthy. I mean we could all stand to eat a little better, I am just doing it out of necessity.

So it took me two years to get pregnant, a cycle of IVF, losing a twin late in the first trimester, gestational diabetes, and God knows what else is going to happen these last few months…just to get my Paige. I am certain she will be well worth it : )


Jill said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry. You are getting so close to the finish line -- you will have a healthy, beautiful baby girl in your arms very soon.

Callie said...

I am so sorry about the GD... NOT FUN AT ALL! I sure hope that you arent too terribly bummed out. Just think that before too much longer you will be holding your precious little Paige in your arms, and it will all be forgotten and well worth the wait (and also the tough times). I will be thinking about you!!!
Much love!

Jeff and Kerry said...

I read your post on SAIF about how this isn't how you imagined pregnancy to be, and I'm right there with you. Thankfully, when we see our little ones in a few weeks, it WILL be worth it. (((hugs)))

The Frasiers said...

I am so sorry about the bad news.... but you know it will all be worth it and it wont last forever!