Who's life is this?

We have a crib and a changing table! The whole time we were putting it together, I kept thinking - is this my life? No way! I can't get pregnant, why do we need a crib? I know I am driving David crazy...the whole time we were assembling today, I kept saying, "can you believe we are putting together a crib?" "OH my gosh David, are we really having a baby?"

I know he is over the moon excited to have this baby, but it is so different for me than it is for him. I know that all during infertility, he just knew it would happen one day. One day we would get pregnant. Men are so practical like that. One thing doesn't work, try another. Eventually you will get it right. I, on the other hand, always worried it might never happen for us. Not everyone gets pregnant with IVF. But he turned out to be right, thank God! Anyway, my point was that this is all so surreal for me because I had many moments where I was pretty certain it would never happen. And I'm okay with that. It is just making this whole experience even better for me.

The back bedroom used to be closed all the time and I only went in to get paper towels or toilet paper (which we stored in the closet...guess I will need to find a new spot for those!). It was just too painful for me to see that big empty room. David doesn't even know this, but when I was home alone, sometimes I would go back there and just cry. I could never understand how a couple with this huge bedroom ready to put a baby in couldn't have one.

Now I will be crying tears of joy when I walk in that room : )