Friday, March 13, 2009

Baby showers this weekend - brings up emotions...

I had my week 32-33 appointment a few days ago…it went well! I started talking to the doctor about how I know things are going well, but I still get a lot of anxiety of things going wrong towards the end. She understands, and is very supportive of me. She suggested picking a date and inducing labor, as a way of easing my mind in a way. This way, I have a concrete date in my head, and that is my “goal.” So April 27th! Save the date!!

I worked out today, and came back to my desk to eat my lunch. Paige is super active after I eat lunch. She had been very quiet all morning, and of course I was worried. But like clockwork, I started eating, and she started tumbling!! Kicking, moving, getting the hiccups…so much I couldn’t even count her movements! I am always in awe of the fact that there is a precious baby girl growing in me. But some days it hits me more than others. Like today! I am just so thankful for this amazing gift. I have been dreaming about this for well over two years! I can’t count the times that I would be on the bathroom floor crying so hard that I literally couldn’t move. I would cry so hard that it would make me throw up. David would have to pick me up out of the bathtub, dry me off, put my pajamas on, and put me into bed. Literally. I asked David the other day if he remembers all the times I called him sobbing – leaving the doctor’s office with more bad news. Or all the times he would be with me, and we would get bad news together – I would start crying once we got to the elevator.

Then there was that hot August afternoon, when David was out playing golf. I decided to take a pregnancy test while he was gone (because I promised him I wouldn’t!) But when I got back from the store, he was already home. I didn’t say a word – just went in the bathroom, took it – fully expecting to see one line again. It was very early – just 11 days past my egg retrieval, 8 past my transfer. I was shocked to see two perfect lines come up right away. I don’t remember how long I sat there looking at it. Trying to figure out what it meant – this was something that I always heard people talking about, but never fully understood how it was possible. I got up, and took it in to David who was on the computer. I just said, “I’m pregnant.” Of course he didn’t believe it. He was very skeptical. So he went out to mow the lawn, and I took a digital test. After staring at the word ‘pregnant’ for a few seconds, I went out to show him. Still skeptical, he just said, “lets wait until we have the blood test next week.” SO NOT the reaction I was hoping for…but it was perfect for us. We had many perfect moments after that. Hearing that my beta was 387, seeing a tiny spec on the screen, seeing the heartbeat for the first time…finding out we were having a GIRL!

I am so thankful for this miracle! She is so special that it took God two years to make her just right to give to us.

The timing for this complete sentimental mess isn’t completely random…my first baby shower is today. Gives me chills just typing it!

More bump pics and nursery pics to come after the showers!


Jill said...

What a wonderful memory! I was just thinking about our first positive the other day -- it was a year on March 9th. :) I hope you enjoy your showers -- I can't wait to see pictures!

The Frasiers said...

Great shower today!!! The girls at work really made is so cute and you got some of the cutest little outfits and tons of other fun stuff! You looked so cute too!!! Your little belly is adorable! Can't wait to hear how the other showers go... I know they will be so much fun!