I was slowly realizing through the whole night that I was a much more fun hostess when I was drinking too. And just when I started to feel the slightest bit sad that I couldn't drink, I had a flashback. 4th of July. We had a party. There were pregnant people and mommies everywhere. I was getting ready to start birth control pills for IVF #1. Around 10:30 PM, my friend Miranda found me on the floor of my closet sobbing. Gross, snotty, can barely get out your words type sobbing. What a great friend I have! Even though she had no clue - she wasn't even married yet and no clue about the pains of infertility - she sad with me and let me cry and cry. I told her how it wasn't fair. From the outside, it looks like I have everything. Beautiful home, great family, wonderful job...but I felt so empty inside. That was a true low point in my life. Later, when everyone left, I remember asking David if I would ever be happy again.
So fast forward back to the Halloween party. I had a good friend there who has been having trouble trying to get pregnant for almost two years now. It dawned on me that she sat in the same shoes I did just a few months ago. Pregnant people (me) and mommies everywhere. I realized that she is probably, at this very moment, wondering if she will ever be happy again. While I was thankful for the reminder that being pregnant is the biggest blessing I have ever had, I wish I didn't need it. I wish I just knew all the time how wonderful it is. Migraines, nausea, exhaustion, weight gain, back aches, being a party pooper all the time - it is wonderful. I woke up the next morning and checked the heartbeat, and I couldn't help the tears pouring out of my eyes. I am so incredibly lucky.
We had the OU vs. Nebraska game on Saturday - BOOMER SOONER!!!! Before we headed down to Norman, we dressed our puppies up for the occasion!
My sweet Sooner dog, Beefy!
My sweet Sooner dog, Beefy!
Momma with her two boys
My first baby, Spike
David and I were married in June of 2006. I am a stay-at-home mom after a long struggle with Infertility. We have been lucky on our first and second cycles of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF)! We have a daughter, Paige Madeline, born April 23, 2009. Our twin boys, Jack David and Braley James, came on November 16, 2010.
3 comments:
I know the party is probably not as much fun when you are sober...but just know that next year it will be even more fun because you will be dressing that little one up in some adorable costume, and could care less about anything else but all the pictures you will take of her (or him), and all the comments you will get about your precious baby! We love you guys, and couldnt be happier that you are going to be parents. If you ever need anything I am a really good listener. We need to do lunch sometime and catch up!
Callie
Glad you had a great party! Forget about being the DD right now-you've got a miracle growing inside! You can drink in 6 months or so!
Awww, Beefy and Spike!!!! Too bad we didn't live closer - our Yorkies could be buddies!
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