Life with the kiddos

Royal Wedding 2011 brought a lot of fun to our house. I was one of those goofy American girls who loved every second of it. I thought the couple was beautiful, the wedding was lovely, and it was a great fairy tale story in a cruel world full of sadness.

Paige absolutely loved watching the Royal Wedding coverage. "Princess! Princess! Paige is a princess!" Man, did she ever go crazy over seeing that bride on TV. Cutest.thing.ever.

All day Friday we wore our tiara.

And our slippers.

If that girl doesn't define hot mess, I don't know what does!

Jack Attack continues to be a machine - sitting up with ease.

We have been having a lot of fun using our playroom upstairs. It takes a bit of effort getting the circus moved up there, but once we are there, we aren't sorry.

Lots of room to goof off!

And just be adorable : )

Braley getting a kick out of Jack's leg.

For some reason, we started calling this Paige's horsey. Don't ask me why. So now, it is very comical to other people to hear Paige yell, "RIDE THE HORSEY!" and run up to this thing.

Paige loves to cook in her kitchen. We make casserole, mac n cheese, hot tea, grilled cheese, and more! She actually whipped me up some granola the other day. That is talent.

All in all, we are enjoying our weekend!

The OKC.Thunder won round one of the play-offs! David and I got a sitter for tomorrow and are going to game 1 of round 2. Look for us on TV ; )

Not your average baby book photo...

You all know that I have been having a tough time with everything lately. The terrible 2s are in our house in full effect. And 5.5 month old twin boys...well...yeah. It's tough.

I was looking in our study for some stationary this morning, and I came across this:

2 4BB day 5 blastocyst embryos.

What an amazing thing.

My kids are miracles! Created in a lab. I am SO blessed!

Diaper Wednesday

It is a dreary and rainy Wednesday. I am exhausted from a little clothing party I had last night. David had school, and my parents are golfing in Sedona, Arizona, so I did baths and bed for 3 by myself. Right after Paige was all hyped up from having 5 ladies and 6 kids over here buying clothes from catalogues. It was crazy.

Anyway, I didn't feel up to getting us all dressed and out the door this morning. So I declare: diaper (and jammies for me) Wednesday! Maybe we'll get dressed later. But this morning, I'm loving my little cuties in their skivvies : )

I'm feeling better about everything. I'm trying to shake this funk without turning to medication. But I'm not afraid to make a call to my OB if things get worse.

Brighter days

Everything is always brighter the next day. I won't say that I woke up today and all my problems melted away. That just isn't true. But things seem more in the realm of manageable.

I look at my kids and try to remind myself just how lucky I am to have them. Next year (heck - even next month) is it really going to matter that Jack refused to nap unless he was held? I don't think so. It is hard to remember that in my moments of intense (and irrational) frustration, but I know it to be true. I do.

I just want to thank everyone for the texts, emails, phone calls, facebook messages, and comments (wow - there are a lot of ways to get ahold of me...). I felt a lot of support yesterday from folks who know what I'm going through. Mothers of all kind share a bond. Whether you have one kid, twins, twins and a toddler...we are all fighting the same fight. And I'm thankful to you all for reaching out to me when I needed it. I hope each and everyone of you knows that I will support you when you need it as well.

Life is beautiful when you have these three precious souls in your life.

All I know is I better get one hell of a mother's day present this year.

: ) At least I still have my sense of humor : )

Truth

I love having this blog. I like that there is a place I can put all my pictures and stories - a great way to help me remember all the happy times I have with my family.

I know some people use blogging as a way to get out all their frustrations. I don't do that. I sit down and eat massive quantities of mexican food for that.

But I want to tell the truth. I'm struggling right now.

I feel lonely so much of the time, even when I'm surrounded by family and friends. I feel the weight of raising these kids on my own, even though I'm far from doing it alone. My husband helps. My parents help. I hire help. But when Jack won't nap, I feel like its on me. It stresses me out. When Braley cries to be held, and everyone tells me to just let him cry, get to him when you can, etc. etc...I am the one struggling.

I know this comes with the title of mom, but all the help I have gets to get away from it. David gets to go to work. It is a Sunday, and he goes to work. My parents go back home. My babysitters leave. And I am dealing with it all. And I feel alone.

I feel like Braley is behind in his gross motor development. I feel guilty because I don't get on the floor and encourage him enough. I don't help him enough. And instead of getting down and doing something about it, I sit in my bed and cry. And stress about it. (he is napping right now, but I digress...) Who does that help?

And I've done this dance before. I know that every kid develops at their own pace. And I know that Braley gets plenty of interaction, tummy time, and he will roll over when he is good and ready. So what the heck is my problem?

Sometimes, I even think the unthinkable. WHY didn't we space this out more? We were in complete control. David and I are both intelligent people. We knew exactly what we were doing and walked in with our eyes wide open. And I know the stats on elective single embryo transfers. We had 5 day blasts. We could have had these boys one at a time. This would be so, so much easier.

I think the healthiest thing for me to do is to just acknowledge that it is hard, make a commitment to doing the best job I can, and enjoy the good times that we have. Obviously we have good times. Far more than we have bad times.

But things get really hard sometimes.

Happy Easter

First, today is Paige's second birthday. I am going to do a big post on my 2 year old girl, but I'm not up for it today. Every time I talk about it, I start crying! It is crazy! I think it is really hitting me just how fast all this parenting stuff is going.

My daughter has been on this earth for 2 years!

I decided to bake her a cake from scratch for her little family party tonight.

It's the thought that counts, right? LOL

I'll let you know if it tastes any good.

My mom and dad took us all to the their country club this morning for an Easter egg hunt, petting zoo, and brunch.

Paige loves my niece, Ava. We laugh and say that Paige is on, "Ava alert." Meaning, she must know where Ava is at all times. If Ava gets out of her sight, she starts calling for her and looking frantically.

I love these two. Paige is such a daddy's girl. If I didn't have two baby boys who loved their momma, I might be annoyed that Paige has such an obvious preference for her dad right now. I think it is only natural for the older child to favor their dad when new baby(ies) come home. And she is lucky that her daddy loves her right back.

We loved hunting for eggs! They broke the hunts up in groups. 0-2, 3-5, 6+. Paige didn't fit well in any of the groups. She was too big for the 0-2, but we didn't want her getting trampled by the 5 year olds. So we stuck her with the little kids. She had fun!

While she might be favoring her daddy right now, she still loves her momma.

She knows her takes care of her all day : )

LOL!

Tonight, my parents are coming over to babysit so David and I can go out to dinner and watch the Thunder game at a bar.

Tomorrow, I'm pretty sure David has to go to the office. On Easter. I would be pissed if it surprised me at all. I was ranting about it at brunch, and my dad said, "Megan, be thankful." That is it. Just three words, and it was all I needed to hear. Dads have a way with advice. But he is right - I'm thankful my husband has a good job. I'm thankful he is willing to work hard to provide a blessed life for his wife and kids.

But still... ; )