Monday, August 25, 2008

If you don't watch out, I will probably pee on you...

Because I have peed on everything else in the house. I have now taken 5 home pregnancy tests in 2.5 days. I have a problem. Still decisively positive. I just don't know what to think right now. I am worried about getting too excited before I know anything definitive, but when you are staring at 2 huge lines or the word pregnant, how can you not get excited? These are things my infertile eyes have never seen. Every time I take a test, it takes me a few minutes to process the information.

I think part of the problem is the fact that I am so used to being infertile. That has been my life since 2/26/07, the day I walked through my RE's doors for the first time. People have to be sensitive around me. People understand I might avoid events if they are going to bring their babies. People rarely email me pictures of their kids (with the exception of one...grrrr....). How are people going to treat me now? To be quite honest, I'm not exactly sure how to act or feel. I have thought about little else (well, that, and about decorating my home, which is finished now). I feel like David and I talk about infertility all the time. We talk about the current cycle we are in, how we plan to approach the next, and how "I'm having a really hard time lately."

I just hope I can get out of this slump and feel excited once I get a beta. Please. I am so sick of being the poor infertile girl.

4 comments:

jessica56 said...

Congrats!!! I recently came across your blog and have been checking it- I am so happy to hear that you are pregnant. Even though I don't know you- hearing that anyone who has struggled with IF is finally pregnant is something I think even strangers can celebrate together! Enjoy this time- you deserve it!!

stacey said...

I think after 5 tests you can rest assured you are indeed pregnant. CONGRATS!!!!!

Dr. Erin and Mr. Heath said...

Megan - I am so excited for you guys! I completely understand your hesitation to be excited about being pregnant, but you ARE! Just enjoy it! I can't wait to hear your beta results - hopefully that will ease your mind a bit, but I have a feeling you won't relax until you're holding a little baby (or two!) in your arms. And maybe even not then! I'm still praying for you guys and can't wait to follow this journey with you.
Erin

Tab said...

Congradulations! I'm so happy for your pregnancy blessing! It sucks that infertillity seems to ruin everything for us...even when we get very clear POSITIVE pregnancy tests...but just enjoy this time and you (and your baby!)

will be in my prayers!