I was so optimistic with my 18 eggs yesterday. In my dreams, we would have 2 perfect blasts to transfer, and 4 or so make it to freeze. In reality, here is the breakdown:
9 fertilized with ICSI
2 are good, 4 are fair, and 3 are fair/poor
This means that we are certainly doing a day 3 transfer on Friday - not even a chance of making it to day 5. It also means there is a slim to none possibility of any making it to freeze. I hate reality. I wish I could live in my fantasy for a few more days.
I know that it only takes one. I know we are blessed to have any fertilize. I know we are lucky to have 2 that look good at this stage. I am aware of all these things, but the point is that it isn't what I wanted. It isn't what I expected. I just want to scream. I can't be happy about those two embies. I know I should - hell, they could become my kids. I will try. I will try to be happy, and be patient, and wait for the phone call tomorrow for my update. Please, God, please watch over my embryos. Everyone else, please pray for my embryos.