Saturday, August 23, 2008

Just a Dream

I love Carrie Underwood. Her new song, Just a Dream, hits on so many emotions. It is very powerful, and the video is beautifully done. I think it relates to people on so many levels. Obviously, I know that what the girl in this song is dealing with is so different that what I am dealing with, but I think it all comes down to one basic thing: this can't be happening to me. I hear stories about couples who try for years and just can't ever have babies. I knew about infertility when I was young because my neighbor was an RE (who happens to be mine now). But I never thought that would happen to me. I never thought I would have trouble getting pregnant. Then I never thought that clomid wouldn't work. After that, I never thought that injectables wouldn't work. And now, dealing with the possibility that IVF didn't work, I can't help but think that this has to be a dream. There is no way this is happening to me. I know there is hope that I might be pregnant. I haven't even tested yet, but I just have this gut feeling. My mind keeps trying to over-ride that negative feeling by saying "you had a great embryo and your progesterone is high. Don't give up." My mind keeps softly callling out to my heart, convincing it to come over to the positive side. I'm trying to tune that out, because I don't want to get my heart broken. I am just trying to protect my heart.

Check out the video. If you don't cry, there is seriously something wrong with you : )

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