PUPPS

I got diagnosed today.

You all know that I have been dealing with this awful rash and itching for the last few weeks. It has gotten progressively worse and worse. I woke up this morning with blood in my finger nails from the insane clawing I have been doing at my skin.

Not only am I literally tearing my stomach and upper thighs to shreds - but it has even spread to my hands. I have these insanely painful bumps on the palms of my hands and between my fingers. I just 100% couldn't stand it any more. I am NOT one to call the doctors office complaining like this. I have called twice this pregnancy. Once because I was having pre-term contractions, and another time because I pulled a muscle in my back and wanted something safe to take.

Well - I called for my third time today. I had to have David do the talking because I couldn't even get the words out without sobbing hysterically. The pain has gotten that bad. They sent me to L&D - seeing as it was obvious we needed to move on to oral steroids. Nothing else has worked.

I didn't take the decision to take them lightly. I know it really is a last resort. But both the on-call doc and the nurses felt like it was our only option. I thought - I either am going to take them or I am going to beg for a C-Section this week. I figured, it is better to take the steroids and pray for relief, and keep these boys cooking for 17 more days. So that is what we are doing. I am on a 10 day plan - doses starting high, then slowly going down to see how my body responds. I will still be doing my NSTs to make sure the boys are okay with it. And I have a growth scan on Tuesday.

Pregnancy is a wonderful gift. I fully believe that. But wow - this one is really testing my faith.

Fantasies

Gross - not those kind of fantasies!!

Lately, I am fantasizing about my old body! I mean - my body before infertility, before IVF, before pregnancy with Paige, before IVF again, and before a twin pregnancy. I know I have a long way to go before I get back there (2 weeks 4 days, and then however many months to lose all the pregnancy weight!), but I know I will.

I told David that when I get to where I want to be, we are packing the brood up in our car and going to Dallas for a shopping spree!

Certain things I have my eye on (and perhaps might have to order for motivation):

Anthropologie is one of my favorite stores and I can't wait to get my skinny ass into some of these things : )

Happy Saturday!

I am taking my fat and pregnant ass down to Norman for the tailgate, but am coming home before the game to take Paige trick or treating. I can't wait!!!!

Lazy Day

Paige and I have nothing planned for today, which is nice. No doctors appointments = a good day for me!

We may venture out to the mall later this afternoon. I am on the hunt for a fabulous fall-scented candle, but don't know where to look. I love expensive candles, but I don't want to spend $60 today on something that I am going to light on fire. SO - what are your favorite fall candles that won't get me in trouble with my hubby?

Pregnancy updates: another fantastic NST yesterday. The L&D nurses love me because my babies never give them any trouble. My itching has gone from bad to worse. The prescription pill she gave me isn't cutting it at all. I talked with her briefly when I was at the hospital yesterday and she was adamant that I give it until Tuesday to become effective. If I am still clawing my skin off then, she will prescribe oral steroids.

I can't believe we are at the LESS than 3 weeks mark now.

We found and hired our night nannies! There are 4 of them - all NICU nurses at Children's. They will rotate based on their schedules. It will work out perfectly, and we are so happy to have this settled now. Since David is able to take off work until after the Thanksgiving holiday, we will have them start right after that. I know that I can't take care of my toddler and 2 newborns on no sleep, so I am very happy to have this awesome help!

I hope everyone has a great Halloween weekend!

Don't forget to give me your candle recs!

week 34 appt/Paige's 18 month appt

As David and I suspected, Paige bug is doing just fine! She is right on track on all milestones, and healthy as can be! She weighed 24 pounds even, putting her right at the 50th percentile. Her height was also at the 50th percentile. I told her, Paige - average people are the most special people. That is why God made so many of them : ) (in case you don't watch the Office - that is a Michael Scott quote). Her head, however - is huge. That was in the 95th percentile. : )

She screamed the whole time, which our pediatrician told us is totally normal for this age. But we don't have to go back until she turns 2.

My appointment:

Got a script for the itching. It is a pill that I'll take tonight. It knocks you out, so I can't take it until bedtime. But hey - help me sleep and keep me from ripping my skin open. 2 birds with 1 stone? She ruled out PUPPS. She said it is just an awful rash caused by the rapid stretching of my stomach. If this pill doesn't help, then she will give me steroids. She doesn't want to do that, as I guess it can cause some issues? Not really sure...but either way, she could clearly see how painful it was and the fact that I am literally ripping my stomach to shreds. She will do what she has to do to get me some relief.

My BP is creeping up: 120/60

Weight: I gained 2 pounds in one week! Crazy!! But I think it was mostly water. That puts me at +27 for the pregnancy.

I was only measuring 41 weeks today, but she said that is fine - fundal height varies towards the end. She is certain the boys are still growing just fine. I have my last growth scan on Tuesday. MADNESS!!!

However - I still have 6 NSTs, 3 OB appointments, and 1 growth scan before I deliver. Just typing that out makes it seem like it is forever away. 22 days.

Thank you/week 34/18 months old!

First, I just wanted to say thank you for all your sweet comments on my post from Saturday. Everything looks better in the light of day. I had a great NST today and the nurse told me that my babies look fabulous, I am doing great, and it makes me remember how truly lucky I am. I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow so I plan on discussing what we can do to help with my itching. I honestly think if I can get that more under control, I'll do better.

But again - I love that I come on here and complain like a baby and get nothing but support from my blogging family! Thank you very much : )

34w0d : )

This is me peering over and attempting to see my toes. I was not successful.

I look tired. I am not sleeping well at all anymore.

My baby bug is 18 months old. As of Saturday. We have her 18 month appointment in 30 minutes, and I am excited to show off all of our new skills!

And our fab hair! This is what we look like post-nap.

I made a list of all the words she is saying, as well as other info on our big 1.5 year old!

Words we are saying regularly (although not totally understandable to others, my family and those around her a lot know:

mommy
up
night night
no
waffle
water
grapes
cheese
baby
bye bye
puppy

yuck
car
shoe
eyes
nose
book
block
banana
phone
dada

papa (my dad - still hasn't made reference to my mom yet...much to her chagrin! But my dad is feeling very proud!)
owl
turtle
cracker
oh no!

oh boy!
bath
quack
arph arph (puppy)
please
outside
keys


Body parts she can identify:
nose
ears
belly button
toes
fingers
hands
eyes
elbow (kind of!)
lips
knees

Sleep:
7:30 - 7:30 normally
2 ish hour nap a day - except on school days, it is an hour or sometimes even less. But she goes to bed for the night earlier those days.

Still gets 1/sometimes 2 bottles a day
*some people feel that the bottle should have been given up by now, but we could care less. She loves to be rocked and cuddled before bedtime with her blankie and a bottle. It is a special time in our house and neither David nor I are willing to give that up with her.

Food info:

Favorites:
waffles, cottage cheese, grapes, strawberries, bananas, any kind of chip and cracker (ugggh), french fries (bigger ugggh), turkey, cheese, broccoli, carrots, and WATER! This kid drinks water like we are literally running out of it. Still hates juice, which is fine with me. And she will only drink milk from a bottle.

Favorite activities:
books: bringing them to us to read and flipping through them herself, climbing on anything, playing in a car - she likes to get herself in and out of her carseat, walk through the isles, climb into the back, play outside, bath time, and school. She loves going to school.

She has also recently discovered her "girlyness." She loves to brush my hair, brush her own hair, put on shoes, and imitates me putting on make up. She very much enjoys bath time and brushing her teeth after her bath. And lately, she hates to have anything on her hands! If her hands get dirty, she says, "yuck!" and holds her hands out to be wiped off by someone. It is so funny.

I'll give an update on our pediatrician appointment later!

Thanks again for always being so supportive! Love to you all : )

Rough night

I have to get this all off my chest:

I am miserable. My body hurts all the time. The only thing that is tolerable to me is laying in bed with my tempurpedic body pillow between my legs. Oh - and I can't have a shirt on. Sorry for the horrible image that might be in your head now...

My skin just can't handle the stretching any more. I am measuring 42+ weeks, and it is more than my body can handle. My stretch mark-ravaged stomach has turned into something worse. A horrid rash. That is spreading. I itch all day and night. Not a slight thing that I would like to scratch...more like fire ants crawling all over my stomach and thighs. I was bawling in the middle of the night last night because it is so horrible. I know that scratching is going to leave scars, but I truly can't help it.

I feel DESPERATE to get these boys out. I know that it is still too early for them. And rational thought always takes over in the morning and I am thankful for another day that they are inside. But the nights. Oh - the nights. Pregnancy congestion, horrible rash/itching, aching body, contractions that keep me up, two boys fighting for room in there...this is by far the most miserable, physically, that I have ever been. And I know that the next 3 weeks are not going to bring anything but more of the same. If not worse. : (

David and I were talking last night, and we agreed, that the one good thing about me being this miserable is the fact that I will never feel tempted to get pregnant again. We know in our hearts that our family is complete after 3. 1 girl and 2 boys = a perfect family in our minds. But I wondered if ending my reproductive journey at the age of 27 was really going to be what I wanted. Would I want to try again in 3 or 4 years? Would I have the desire to experience pregnancy one more time?

I know the answer for sure now and it is a resounding: HELL NO.

I feel like now I should go on and list all the reasons that I am thankful right now. But I just don't have it in me. If you know me at all, you know that my life is my family. I remember the pain of not knowing if I would ever get pregnant. I know that having preemies in the NICU is FAR worse than the misery of the end of a twin pregnancy. I know. So - whatever. This doesn't change the fact that there is nothing easy about my life right now.

18 months = trouble!

Paige and I went out in the backyard today looking for trouble.

We found it in the water hose

Opening and closing the grill (don't worry - it wasn't hot!)

Climbing all over our furniture

This is what happens when she reaches for my camera and I don't let her have it. Of course, like any good mom, I laughed and took a picture.

Yes - 18 months is evidently the age where we go looking for trouble everywhere!

But we sure are having fun!

The Carrie concert was amazing! I didn't know Billy Curr.ington was opening up for her, and when I found out - I was like a giddy little school girl. I have a maj crush on him. I love his music and think he is a cutie : )

We got one picture before the concert, but were too busy rocking out during to take anymore.

Brooke - the taller blonde - is 26 weeks pregnant and all skinnified still. Annoying ; )

And I DO have shoes on - not sure why it looks like I don't.

Such a fun night with the girls!!

appointment/growth scan - week 33

I dropped Paige bugger off at school this morning, then headed to Mercy. I am thrilled to report that the babes are measuring in at 4 1/2 pounds and 4 3/4 pounds respectively. Yep - that is over 9 pounds! Not counting two placentas, all the extra fluid, etc. It is hard to imagine going 4 weeks and a little over a day more, but I know I can handle it.

I am blessed with a lot of help with Paige, a fab house cleaner, and mother's day out : ) : ) I know I do a lot of complaining on here (and to David, my parents, friends...) but I am so, so thankful to be where we are. I know the next 4 weeks are going to be tough. Each day will be harder than the day before. But when we are holding our full-term, healthy babies that we get to take home with us, it will be worth it.

As for the appointment: u/s was great - both boys have plenty of fluid, took practice breaths, moving great, and still have lots o' hair!

fFN: negative! Last one!! (they don't do one after now because if labor were to start after 35 weeks, they won't stop it)

Measuring: 41-42 weeks.

BP: 105/60

Weight: +25 pounds. Finally managed to gain some weight! I am guessing I'll be right at +30 pounds when it is over, which is funny because that is how much I gained with only Paige. So losing it should be a snap this time! I'll be unloading most of it when they come out!!

I know I have gone out and lost my mind...but I think I am going to the Carrie Underwood concert tomorrow. I have tickets with 3 of my closest girlfriends, and I really need this girls night out. I reserve the right to give my ticket away tomorrow...but I am really hoping I have a good day and feel like I can make it.

And with that - I leave you with this. I freaking love country music - always have. I love Carrie, although she isn't my number one favorite. But this song has always struck a cord with me. I love it.

33 weeks

Also, we have reached the 1 month mark! 11/18 is coming - ready or not!

The boys rocked the NST this morning. The nurses and labor and delivery were laughing at me because they showed me to my room and told me they would be right back. I took the liberty of laying on the bed and starting the process of finding both heartbeats with the monitors. They were like - Oh! Okay! I was like - ladies - this aint' my first rodeo.

But I was in and out of there in 30 minutes! I hope all my NSTs go like this from now on!

Growth ultrasound tomorrow. I am really hoping for 4+ pounds each. I feel like my stomach looks big enough to be carrying that. Crossing my fingers!!

BUSY!

So as you all know, David's work schedule has been nothing short of a nightmare since late August/early September. I'm glad this was out of the way before the boys got here, but it has been a rough few months.

To thank his team for all the work they did for this big conference they had, they were given Thursday and Friday off work! I was elated when David told me. I felt like someone needed to pinch me and wake me up. It was wonderful spending that time as a family.

On Thursday, we dropped Paige off at school then went to my NST. After that, we did some shopping and got a massage! It was heaven. After picking Paige up from school, we just hung out, played outside, and I got to REST!

Friday, we went to gymboree! It was so nice to not have to chase her around myself.

Paige goes crazy over the bubbles. "baba! baba! baba!" She freaks out with excitement when she can actually catch one.






She tends to wander off during the group activities. She is more of a climber than a singer and clapper - but that is okay!

This picture cracks me up. Notice the cut up strawberries steamed veggies, and grilled cheese in front of her. But she is holding up a french fry. I true Griffith : )

Paige adds new words to her vocabulary every day. Her latest one: "Peeeees!!" (meaning please!). When she reaches for something, we say, Paige - what do you say? And she says, "pees pees pees pees pees pees!" It is too cute to resist. So when she is reaching for daddy's fry (no they aren't mine - stupid gestational diabetes!) and says PEEEEES PEEEEES PEEEEES! Of course he gives in and gives her one.

She has also started saying mommy and daddy instead of momma and dada. It melts my heart more than anything in this world ever has. When she is sad, she whimpers, "mommy! mommy!" I scoop her right up and love on that sweet little angel.

Saturday, we had our tailgate and the OU game. Boomer!!!

Sunday, we all took 2 naps : ) We also went to lunch and to the park to play and model our Halloween costume!

I felt like I got hit by a truck around 5 PM yesterday. I didn't get out of bed except to take a bath until, well, this morning at 9 to get breakfast. David took her to my parents last night after dinner so I could rest this morning. The end of pregnancy is rough. The end of a twin pregnancy is harder. The end of a twin pregnancy while taking care of an 18 month old is, well, you can guess!

I can smell the end. I know it is near. I am hoping for 3 more weeks, and honestly, not a day more than that.

NST today, growth scan tomorrow, NST Thursday! Good times.

Evolution of a twin belly: weeks 11-32

Week: 11 - pretty confident both twins are going to stick!

Week: 12

Week: 13 - our 4 year anniversary!

Week 14: full swing in the second trimester now!

Week: 15 - found out we are having BOYS!

Week: 18 - on vacation in Alaska

Week: 19

Week: 20 - contractions start, taken out of the gym

Week: 21

Week: 22

Week: 23
Week: 24 - viability! And a trip to L&D for contractions. Put on terbutaline

Week: 25

Week: 26 - starting to feel very puffy. Family pictures taken during this week.

Week: 27 - hello THIRD trimester!

Week: 28 - getting big - second major goal met

Week: 29 - gestational diabetes : (

Week: 30

Week: 31

Week: 32 - third major goal met